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Active Fully Professed Ordained Minister Sisters

Sister Domine’ Trix

If you take the word Domine (which means teacher, or clergyman) and you add –trix (which makes it the female connected with a certain thing) you should get a female teacher or a female clergyman. But spoken it comes out Dominatrix (Dominator + -trix) and you get a dominant female partner in a sadomasochistic relationship.  This says a lot about me, and why I chose this name.  I am a teacher.  I am feminine.  I am dominant.  I am also more than the sum of my parts, and often I am misunderstood due to what people hear as opposed to the true meaning of my components.

The message I would most like to get out to people…  Don’t take anyone on hearsay.  Take the time to get to know everyone you can.  We all have a lesson to teach, and sometimes life’s lessons come from very unexpected places.  Keep in mind we all come from unique backgrounds and perspectives, but we are all in this together.

Also… Life is way too short for all of the self doubt, and self deprecation that we use to put ourselves in bondage.

mmmm… bondage…

I am maintaining my membership in ASJ, though I am currently a Missionary Sister spreading the word in NYC.

 

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    Active Fully Professed Sisters

    Sister Dinah Douche

    “Sister Dinah Douche of the Immaculate Colonic” – Now with Soft, Flexible Comfortip. (patent pending)

    Use for occasional expiation of stigmatic guilt and promulgation of your universal joy.

    Rectal Use Only

    With steady pressure, gently insert Sister Dinah Douche of the Immaculate Colonic into your rectum with a slight side-to-side movement with the tip pointing to your navel. Insertion may be easier if you bear down, as if having a bowel movement. This helps relax the muscles around the anus and your guilt.

    Do not force Dinah into rectum, as this will rip you to shreds!

    Squeeze Dinah until all her love is inside you. It is not necessary to empty Dinah completely, as she has more love than needed.

    For best results, insert and remove Dinah repeatedly (100-200 times), maintain your position until Dinah’s urge to evacuate is strong (usually 1-5 minutes).

    Ask a doctor before using Dinah if you:

    • are a “total top”
    • have an irrational fear of clowns
    • are allergic to grease paint or glitter
    • or the smell of balls in pantyhose is a turnoff to you

    www.facebook.com/sisterdinahdouche

     

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      Active Fully Professed Sisters

      Sister Diana Nirvana

      13 Powers of a Nun

      1- Tie a knot and say the words

      The beginning of a worldwide organization originated in 1979 that brought forth young men to cross dress in habits from the musical Sound Of Music

      2- or hand on head – the blessing conferred

      To put on the white face as a confessional, to give the community a chance to convey their heart of hearts, and have an empathetic ear. That is there for them in the time they need and community holds dear the expiation of their guilt and allowing them to truly feel joy.

      3- A Witch can give success in love

      To help people have self-love, freedom to enjoy other intimately, and the tools such as a condom to do it ethically.

      4- Curse or Bless through Goddess above

      To help shed light on social issues that are present in the current times, the ones that need to be addressed, and have resolution to help hold up the community, that is in need for equality, and have their prerogatives be heard.

      5- Speak to beasts and spirits alike

      The catalyst for inclusion of all faiths, that is like a caterpillar blossoming into a butterfly, to the sky for each and every human, that we smile at as we walk on by.

      6- Command the Weather

      Sisters are like the water, fluid and ready to go with the flow for someone or cause in need, the fire that gives warmth in the form of hugs also the huge heart for others, the wind that is the voice of the community that needs to have aid in getting stuff done, and the earth that is here to grow roots in the soil of community’s to help them to thrive.

      7- Cast out a blight

      To help join the forces of one nun with the energy of others to go out and do the work or a group of nuns that charge forth to answer bacon calls.

      8- Read the heavens and stars of the night

      Help guide people in the journey to be a nun. When the calling comes to someone, they observe the Sisters doing the work. Learn the ropes of putting on face as a postulant and find someone to mentor them. Get a voice to help educate in their novice stage. Then, do a project that corresponds to the mission of the Sisters. To become a Fully Professed Sister, in body, mind, and spirit.

      9- Divine the future

      Help others with a vision for a better tomorrow and to help the community find joy, through blessings, and also glitter for some that shows the light of them touched by the Devine spirit of a Nun.

      10- Give good advice

      Offer aid to people with terminal illness. Giving them some smiles, an ear that is there to listen, and a chance to take a deep breath to ease the suffering.

      11- Conjure Treasure and bring fortune to bear

      Go to events to raise money for many nonprofits. Get the community to enjoy the art of giving. People that need money then are grateful receivers of the bounty brought forth by the community. It is the karmic flow of philanthropy.

      12- Heal the sick

      Give resources to people who have STDs and STIs to feel better, education about them, and a chance to cure some of them. Give nonprofits, money to help give quality one-on-one treatment, and other resources to the suffering community member.

      13- Kill Despair

      In the day-to-day struggle of the world. Sisters bring a smile to someone that needs some joy. A hug to someone that needs closeness. They are there to help shift the negative paradigm of the world. One person, step, dollar, event, and manifestation at a time. It takes a village of Nuns to help many. More smiles and less frowns!

      Contact Sister Diana Nirvana

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        Active Fully Professed Sisters

        Sister Daya Reckoning

        Once (s)he was lost, but now (s)he’s found…

        Sister Daya Reckoning:

        Promulgating Universal Joy and Expiating Stigmatic Guilt since 2001

         

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          Active Fully Professed Sisters

          Sister Dawnna Creation

           

           

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          Active Fully Professed Sisters

          Sister Coochie Von Beaverhausen

           

          Contact Sister Coochie Von Beaverhausen

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            Active Board Fully Professed Mistress of Crap (...no, really!) Mistress of Novices Ordained Minister Prioress (President) Sisters

            Sister Christiana Puregaëspella Metroform (Metro)

            Cover Photo Credit: Jorchi Hernández

            Sister Metro arrived in Seattle in 2004 on the back of a Kosher apple truck. Armed with only a piercing sceptic glare and a nose for charlatans and snake-oil salesmen, this fresh, rosy-cheeked nun soon found her way on Capitol Hill, arriving at the Abbey of St. Joan in mid-2009. At first charming and congenial, then wise and…ummm…penetrating, she soon became part of the Abbey, ministering to the LGBT and Latino communities with quiet charm and humor.

             As Prioress, she serves as the president of the Abbey, and she is also currently serving as Mistress of Novices along with other titles within the Order.  This busy Nun sizes-up new recruits and instructs them with a firm but gentle hand, while leading events and ceremonies with jocular irreverence and severity.

            A denizen of exotic locales that serve strong drinks, hot men, and good conversation, she’ll switch from biting humor and ribaldry to patient kindness, indulging her flock’s need for a kind word or simply an attentive and non-judgmental ear. Partial to Otters, Capybaras, and Crows, but kind to all our Mother’s creatures, she’ll be sure to share a good story with a mischievous glint in her eye and spread Sister magic wherever she goes.

              

            Contact Sister Christiana Puregaëspella Metroform (Metro)

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              Active At Large Board Fully Professed Mistress of UNPC Sisters

              Sister Castrata Stigmata Banana Fana Fo Fata/Brother Otto Erotik

               

               

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                Categories
                Active Fully Professed Ordained Minister Sisters

                Sister Castaspella New, the Nun too Bewitched

                …an excerpt from Sister Cass’s Book of Magic and Mystery! pg 69(of course)

                A spell to create a witch nun:

                • Begin with a dream.
                • Add good humor and wicked wit.
                • Blend with lots of love and lots of laughter.
                • Beat in some common sense and community awareness.
                • Pour into a male mold and sprinkle with female intuition.
                • Smother with magic, mysticism, sensuality and sex.
                • Bake until larger than life, and that’s just the right size.
                • Now sit back and watch as she rises to the occasion.

                Beware, this formula has been known to enchant and embrace all walks of life.  She may just cast a spell on YOU.

                 

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                Active Fully Professed Sisters

                Sister Beyoncé Ving

                 

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