“The Clap” – It isn’t about applause

By Sister Ophelia Onassis


I was talking to a dear friend the other day about my work as a Sister and our efforts to educate our community about safer sex. In a moment of insight, he noted that much is said today about HIV and AIDS prevention, but wondered about prevention information for all the other little nasties that are out there to make our sexual lives, well, shall we say “less satisfying”.

I can tell you that having a burning sensation when I’m in the bathroom doing number 1 is one way to curb my generally rampant libido. I mean, if it burns to pee, something’s wrong! Right? I’m also not turned on by the sight of a creamy or greenish discharge emanating from my sexual partner’s favorite “naughty bits”.

The above are early symptoms of a nasty little germie called Gonorrhea (The Clap). In addition to testicular pain, other symptoms include:

  • Rectal Infection
  • Constipation
  • Creamy, pus-like discharge
  • Itching
  • Painful bowel movement with blood in feces
  • Rectal bleeding

In Women

  • Bleeding between periods
  • Creamy or green, pus-like or bloody vaginal discharge
  • Excessive bleeding during menstrual period
  • Irritation of the vulva
  • Lower abdominal pain
  • Painful intercourse
  • Painful urination (burning sensation)

You see – this little germie is out to make our lives a living hell! It’s been around for quite awhile (hundreds, if not thousands of years). The bacteria that causes The Clap makes itself at home in our warm, mucous areas – like the eyes, nose, throat, vagina, rectum, or penis.

Symptoms generally appear 2 to 7 days after infection in males, but it can take longer for symptoms to appear. This ikky bug is often insidious – sometimes not letting you know that you’ve got an unpleasant tenant calling your beautiful body home. Nearly 80% of women will not exhibit any symptoms of the disease, and neither will 10 – 15% of men.

Left untreated, Gonorrhea can cause epididymitis in men, a condition that is an inflammation of the testicles that causes sterility. In women, Gonorrhea causes abscesses, ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy outside the uterus), PID (spreads from vagina to the fallopian tubes and causes sterility), perhepatitis (an infection around the liver), and sterility. Women can pass the infection to newborns through eye infections as the baby makes its way through the birth canal. In all cases, left to its own devices, Gonorrhea will eventually infect the brain (in rare cases), heart valves, and joints.

You’re probably thinking “Holy Shit!” right now. Well, the good news is that, caught early, Gonorrhea is easily treated. A visit to your doctor, or public health agency clinic, can get you fixed up lickety-split! The doctor will administer penicillin or other antibiotics by pill (if you’re lucky) or by injection (it only hurts a little).

You can prevent transmitting or receiving Gonorrhea by practicing safer sex – use condoms, practice monogamy – and for the love of Pete (or Tom, or Bruce, or Robert, or Keith, or well you get the idea), wash your hands “afterwards” to prevent the spread of the ikkies to your eyes!

For more information:


Got the Munchies…?

 An oral report by Sister Anja Knees


Hello love! I’m Sister Anja Knees, and I’m here to talk about oral sex! Now, I’m not going to reveal any amazing secrets of bj’s and munch fests. See me later for extra credit. I am, however, going to talk about the do’s and shouldn’t’s when it comes to tasting your partner between the legs! Lucky for you it’s me giving advice, ‘cause I don’t have the name Anja Knees just because it’s cute!

A common myth in our society is that oral sex sans protection is totally safe. “But Sister, the health care world says it’s a minimal-risk activity!” In that you are correct, my friend, but it depends upon how you treat your mouth before and after as well as what sorts of things you should watch out for!

Many studies have been done on HIV transmission via oral sex, and results have varied, partly because people who give tongue baths to tender loins often engage in other fun activities, like screwing! There have been documented cases of HIV infection via blowjobs and pussy licking, but while some studies have reported as high as an 8% HIV infection rate due to oral sex, others have reported none! This is due to lots of different factors, which I’ll explain.

Let’s not forget the other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) out there, and that their presence can help HIV hop, skip and pump its way into people! Nearly all STI’s, an updated term for STD, can be transferred via oral sex (at a much higher rate than HIV) either to the sucker or the suckee, including but not limited to:

  • -Herpes (cold sores are Type 1, lesions on your crotch are generally Type 2)
  • -Chlamydia (discharge, mmm)
  • -Gonorrhea (leaky pee-pee)
  • -Hep. A (via fecal matter, so putting a “poop dick” in your mouth isn’t so smart!)
  • -Hep. B (transmitted through pre-cum, cum, vaginal fluids and sometimes saliva)
  • -HPV (warts, extremely common on genitals, rare in the mouth)
  • -Syphilis (multi-phase fun)

“Sister, how do HIV/STI infections happen if oral sex is so low-risk?” I’m glad you asked, sweetheart! The easiest way is through cuts, scrapes and/or lesions in the mouth and/or private bits. Skin is a barrier, so a breech in the skin is a breech in defenses. Skin-to-skin contact can cause transmission of some STI’s, such as Herpes and HPV, hence why bj’s are considered higher risk for STI infections. And, if you love a mouthful of pussy, reconsider sweepin’ the streets of Tuna Town when the red tide is in, because a woman’s menstrual blood can carry the HIV virus.

“What can I do to prevent the spread of these infections when my partner or I chow down on each other’s happy places?” An excellent question! The most effective way is, of course, abstinence. However, knowing that you’re a sexy horndog, you should know that there are many ways to gargle his wand or yodel in her canyon safely!:



Condoms for cocks, dental dams for snatches. If you’re allergic to latex, there are polyurethane alternatives, or saran wrap! Make sure it’s non-microwaveable, though, ‘cause the microwaveable wrap is porous, i.e. why bother? If you don’t want to use a condom or dental dam, choosing a partner that you’re monogamous with or super trust can help you to stay safe.



If you’re the one on ya knees, pay attention to your mouth. Any cuts, lesions, inflamed gums or new piercings in there, you might wanna reconsider diving in unprotected.

Make sure it’s clean before putting it in your mouth. If anything looks amiss (lesions, wart bumps, “spring green pre-cum,”), a hand-job might be a good alternative.



Try refraining from eating abrasive foods or brushing and flossing up to 2 hours before oral sex, because your gums can take awhile to heal. Gargling with mouthwash is also effective for germ and bacteria killing, and going pee after getting a tongue bath on your genitals is also smart, as urine is completely sterile and can clean out your urethra of little critters trying to nest.


Spit, Swallow or Facial?

Even though it’s tempting to taste his load, not allowing cum in your mouth can GREATLY reduce your risk of HIV/STI infection. If you do take his load, consider taking it in the very back of your throat so as to avoid your gums entirely, and rinse your mouth out as soon as you can without offending your sex buddy so that potential jizz denizens don’t have time to make you their new home. Also, wait a half hour after sex before brushing your teeth or eating, ‘cause while saliva is tough stuff against HIV, it does take awhile for it to get that foreign body fluid broken down.

The best motto to live by with oral sex is assuming no one is HIV/STI free, because they can be a carrier without knowing it. Lucky for you who love face-in-lap action, the risk level is lower than full-on intercourse. But the risk exists, so remember these lessons the next time you find yourself crotch to mouth with someone, and you’ll be very happy you did, I swear it. Now who wants a demo!!


Always willing to service,

Sister Anja Knees


Pass the butter, Sister Paddleme’ has CRABS!

By Sister Paddleme’ Tooshie

When I was a small nun I had frequent talks of sex and venereal diseases (that is what we called them at the time) with my mother and my grandmother. This is probably what warped me. One of my favorite talks was over a delightful lunch. I think I was a sophomore in high school, which really doesn’t matter, just gives depth to the story. Back to lunch. The story goes like this:

When my grandmother was a young girl, in high school herself, she and her friends would often ditch school and drive over to the Pismo Beach. Yes, Sister Paddleme’ is not from Seattle. I was cursed to live in the central valley of Cali – again, irrelevant. On one of her adventures, Grams brought some “friends” home. She had no idea. By the next day, she was having horrible itching “down there.” A few more days passed and the itching was unbearable. She knew she needed to see the family doctor but she was too embarrassed because she was “a good girl and good girls didn’t get this kind of thing.” But sure enough even “good girls” can get crabs from “toilet seats”. The cure was easy enough, the doctor gave her a special shampoo and, “He made me shave my beaver!” From that day forward she always trimmed her beaver.

Pthius pubis commonly known as Crab louse is the bug of the day.

This is what the little bugger looks like:

 Crab Louse        (a crab louse)

 Crab Louse Egg (a crab louse egg, this one is glued to a hair)

Ok, Can you say, *Ouch!*? Look at those claws.



Pubic lice are normally spread by sexual contact and are considered a sexually transmitted disease, but can also be spread by sharing clothes or bedding. A common misbelief is that infestation can be spread by sitting on a toilet seat. This is not likely since lice cannot live long away from a warm human body. Also, lice do not have feet designed to walk or hold onto smooth surfaces such as toilet seats. I know that I said that is how my Grams got it. I just relayed the story. More than likely one of her friends was a whore and they shared clothes. Crabs can be found in any human hair. Most common is the pubic areas but they can also be found in eyelashes, beards, mustaches and armpits.

How do you know it the armpit/crotch you are diving into is infeted? OPEN YOUR EYES!! There are a couple of big clues:

  • You SEE bugs jumping around.
  • You can see little white beads on the hair. These are actually the egg pods. A female can lay up to 40 eggs at a time.
  • The skin below the hair can have these funny, sometimes blue dots by the base of the hair. This is because the louse sucks blood to survive. Neat huh?



There are really no long term affects, other than insanity from itching, found with a crab’s infestation. I suppose you could get a little anemic, but there is no research to prove this. The main effect is ITCHING!! You can also get secondary infections at the sites where they suck your blood.



Pubic lice are easily killed with a 1% permethrin or pyrethrin lice shampoo, but the pubic hair must be shaved or combed with a fine-toothed comb to remove the nits. Lice can survive in bedding and clothing, so these items must be treated, sterilized, or contact with them must be avoided for two weeks, after which time any lice will have died. Lindane (1%), another pediculocide, is not recommended for pregnant or nursing women or for children less than 2 years old.


Take us home Sister –

I hope you have enjoyed my time of sharing with you. What big lesson do I want you to walk away with… Be careful out there. Know who you are bedding with. Take care of yourself; I think you are beautiful and I hope you do too.


Spank and Tickle,

Sister Paddleme’ Tooshie


AIDS 101

Keep yourself education, keep yourself safe

Courtesy of Sister Eva Destruction

Recently the news has been all abuzz with the advances in HIV research.  I was going to direct this sermon towards that topic, but when I started perusing the internets, discussion threads and such that were dedicated to all these current events, I noticed that there is an unusually high ratio of people out there who didn’t have a basic grasp of HIV itself.

Now, I’m an old nun.  I remember when off-the-shoulder tee shirts, leg warmers, skinny jeans and HIV were all new ideas (and like poor fashion choices, poor health information can have the potential to haunt you for the rest of your life).  It seemed like my generation was constantly bombarded with fresh data all the time.  Granted, HIV was new and scary (ps. it’s still scary) so everyone was trying to understand how to handle it.  These days, we sometimes make the mistake of assuming that everyone has heard the same messages, so rather than have a long discussion about the subtleties of this virus, let’s take a review of the basics.

HIV is a virus, that’s the ‘V’ part.  The long name is Human Immunodeficiency Virus, meaning it causes a problem with a person’s immune system.  HIV is not AIDS.  AIDS is, ready?:  Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or a set of health problems that have come about because of an immune system weakened by HIV.  Think of it like this; not everyone who has tested positive for HIV has AIDS, but everyone who has AIDS is HIV positive.  Being virus-based, you can break down the change from HIV negative to AIDS in four steps:  Exposure, Infection, Development, and, well let’s just call the last step “AIDS” (some people want to put the term ‘full blown’ in front to heighten the drama, but, really that makes about as much sense as being ‘a little pregnant’).

Like pretty much anything in life, if you don’t want it, don’t get near it.  I promise that little gem of advice is 100% effective for all things.  Reality, however, tends to complicate this rule.  Viruses like people, and to a lesser extent, people like people.  So in all likelihood at some point you will have to come into contact with, or be exposed to, someone who could have a virus.  We’re aware how colds and the Flu get around, so we take precautions, like washing our hands and wearing silly paper masks to limit our exposure, likewise, understanding how HIV is spread can help you limit your exposure to that virus.

HIV is found in some bodily fluids; blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk, so you want to be careful around those.  HIV is not found in spit, tears, sweat, pee or poop, so have a field day there.  The best way of avoiding these fluids would be to not have sex, not share anything that has another person’s blood on it (needles, syringes, vendettas) or not breastfeeding from someone who has HIV.  If you can’t avoid sex, I know spirit = willing, flesh = weak, be with only one partner, who isn’t HIV positive.  If that’s not on your agenda, then at least use some sort of barrier like a condom or dental dam.  Still too much to ask?  Really?  Then try talking to your next conquest about their status and take your chances.  You never know, they could be liars only after your hot, hot body, or they may not know their own HIV status.  As for needles and syringes, make sure you only use sterile equipment, and never, never share your gear, and as an aside, if you can take that much consideration to your own welfare, perhaps you might want to consider some sort of counseling for your drug use?  I’m just sayin’…

But what if, gods forbid, that nothing has sunk in to this point and you’ve been exposed to HIV?  You still need to contract the virus, Step 2; Infection.  You’ve contracted a virus when it has begun reproducing itself in your body.  At this point the body starts to fight the virus by producing antibodies.  Remember that time everyone around you had the cold but you didn’t get it?  Chances are you were exposed, but for some reason you didn’t “catch” it, same applies here. (This doesn’t mean that the odds are in your favor, it’s just to give you some perspective, so you don’t freak out every time someone shoots in your eye.)  Most people may feel nothing more than Flu-like symptoms for several days.  But just because you may not feel sick that doesn’t mean you haven’t been infected, that’s why it’s so important to get tested at least every six months, if you’ve been in a risky situation.

Now let’s say that your test came back and you’re HIV positive.  The third step is the development of the infection.  The medical community splits this one up into two parts, asymptomatic and symptomatic – you are or aren’t showing symptoms.  At first, you won’t show symptoms, and look perfectly healthy.  You can still pass it along the ways I mentioned earlier, this isn’t the time to start slacking on your common sense.  Actually, it’s time to be even more careful, your immune system isn’t at 100% anymore, so why would you want to try to fight a 1-2 combo of HIV and Syphilis? But I digress… Many people stay asymptomatic for several years, and the earlier HIV can be detected, the better chance for an improved quality of life.  At some point though, the disease will move into the symptomatic stage.

Symptoms begin to show when the virus has weakened the immune system – your boat has begun to leak.  You may feel more tired than usual, have night sweats, skin rashes, or slight weight loss.  Normally, a healthy body can keep up with all of these, but your immune system is starting to miss a few of these germies.  As this stage progresses, infections and fevers will become more frequent, the weight loss will be more drastic, and diarrhea will make a new place in you life.  Can you see why it’s real important to get medical treatment before symptoms start to show?

Finally, the last stage is AIDS itself.  Call it “Late Stage HIV”, “Full-blown” or whatever, this is the point where your body can’t protect itself and what are called ‘opportunistic infections’ take hold.  These buggers, like rare pneumonias and skin lesions, take advantage of the weak immune system and can be really nasty.  AIDS, however is not an automatic death sentence, there are many therapies that can help the body fight the infections as well as target HIV.  Even having HIV does not necessarily mean you will develop AIDS.  Again, all four steps have to happen; Exposure > Infection > Development > AIDS.  Granted, people who do not get medical attention are going to be on the losing side of the battle, but early detection and treatment is allowing people to live healthy lives for decades.

So let’s recap in no particular order:

  • Limit your contact with someone else’s body fluids
  • Ask your partner(s) if they know their status.
  • Know your status, get tested.
  • Early detection and treatment.
  • Donate to the Sisters (why not throw a plug in there?)

For more information:

And remember, this is in no way intended to diagnose or prescribe any medical information. Go see your doctor for that…


Friar Stogie’s abridged “Play for Pain 101 ½”

Friar Stogie’s abridged “Play for Pain 101 ½”


After another successful BSDM Rectory event at the Monastery, my email box has been jammed full of questions from my parishioners.  As Rector, I will indulge and publicly release this month’s lesson.

To be a Friar in this monastery, all candidates must have the basic knowledge and skills sets of Faith, Humanity and Love.  These virtues are essential in the ministry.  In the BDSM/ Fetish / Kink (BFK) Communities, I subscribe to the ancient teaching of the Old Guard ways and the new wave teachings of the “I” Guard ways.

The “Old Guard” is self-indentified individuals / groups who core values or elements are: “Respect, Discipline and Tradition.”

In the “I” or “Information Guard” (as I call them) ways, are generally centered on the core values or elements of “Safe”, “Sane” and “Consensual” and my addition to them, “Referral”.

In this sermon, I will not forget the Old Guard ways, because they will always be a part of my play, but for this discussion, I will address the questions and concerns of the “I” Guard generation.  This generation, (in my humble opinion) makes them different then their Old Guard parents because of having so much information available to them via the internet – websites, blogs, chat rooms; public/private clubs and associations for every walk of life with the BFK communities and whereas these groups may provide lectures, demonstrations, hands-on workshops, and even organized play opportunities.

The awesome wealth in knowledge and accessibility has come with a price; I have personally witnessed the “Knowledge without Experience” syndrome. So the BFK communities have come up with three simple words of wisdom: “Safe, Sane and Consensual.”  I also would like to add a fourth word, “Referral”.

Please indulge me in this sermon and let me explain what these four words mean to ME.  Let me say, I’ve been a kinky Friar since 1989 were I was trained by the Old Guard Masters in New York City.  I consider myself, an “I” Guard kind of Friar and proud of it but I will never forget my past Old Guard teachings, the diameter of my Master’s cock ring, and the smell, sight and sounds of the numerous and lavish play parties of old.

But the past is in the past.  No longer can a seasoned Master walk into a bar, smoking a fat Toro cigar or Marlboro cigarette, dressed in traditional leathers, grab a charity case (a phrase meaning a want-to-be or novice leather person) and have his way with him in the bar without worry/concern of: possibility catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease (HPV, HIV, Gonorrhea, the Clap, and more),  the state’s laws which prohibit the smoking in bars, a person’s inexperience in the BFK community and the wearing/flagging the wrong play signals (wrong colored hankie or items hanging on the wrong side of the wardrobe.)  The list goes on though by all means, this isn’t totally a bad thing.  We may be better off now, then in the early days of leather, but I very little to say of what it was like way back in the day.

So let me explain those four words mentioned above.  Please bear in mind; these are summaries of my experiences, teachings and opinions.

“Safe”– is a general term used to mean doing something right in accordance with today’s common standards. “Safe”

: Player – This person understands general health, safety rules, and most possible issues and practices.  His experiences come from personal experiences and/or the combined results from attending demonstration and hands-on workshops.

: Equipment/toys – The practice of clean play, clean equipment and toys are other one.  This means after play the washing/wiping down items with clean / mild soapy water or to the manufacturer’s suggested cleaning specifications using a given cleaning agent or sterilization process, to the best of one’s abilities. I talking about the items which were used during play.  A person knows his toys.  This person knows what to look for when purchasing a toy, how to use it, the toy’s normal up keep and its disposal when the toy can no longer serve its designed purpose.

:  Location/Play space/Dungeon – A location where the action can take place – private or public, where the environment may be controlled.  “Controlled” meaning the space’s temperature, sound level, crowd control, equipment availability and more.  This is also, where likeminded people can get together for communion of the mind / body / spirit.

:  Time – Knowing what their body and their play partner’s body is telling him.  Know if you are sick or coming down with a cold, if you’re tired, stressed or angry at life.  Knowing these things, but limited to the fore mentioned, can help gage the amount of time in the play arena.  Common Sense tells me, a healthy body with positive, upbeat energy can endure more “tactile stimulation” then a body filled with negative, angry energy.

Watch for tattletale signs that the body (yours or your play partner’s), has reached its limit where you need to rest for a bit, call for a change in the scene or form of play or even bring the scene to an end.

And at NO time is it expectable to play if the interested parties are too mind altered.  Meaning, there might have been too much drinking or partying prior or during, where the judgment, attention or stimuli responses, may be in question.


Remember this Friar’s general rule of thumb – “Be true to yourself and your play partner because you want them to come back to you to play, time and time again!”

“Sane” is being able to judge the scene.

Knowing what is expectable and safe and also knowing where and how to control and push the limits of your play partner.

Use basic judgment along with Common Sense, doing what is considered right and avoiding the temptation to take advantage of the situation, a person or a piece of property.

“Consensual” is being in agreement.


In my monastery, I teach about consensuality by means of a process which occurs before anything happens between two or more rational adults.  It’s called “Negotiation.”

The process is a double-edged sword with the edges cutting down possible problems before they result in ending up as hospital visits or lawsuits or barriers from becoming permanent walls of physical or mental scarring which may take long hours of therapy or forever missed opportunities of pleasures not experienced.

The idea of negotiation is a meeting of the minds.  I’m sorry to say, this action isn’t practiced as much as I feel it should.  This time is where a Top / Master / Dom / Sir should meet with the bottom/ slave / sub / boy.


Find a quiet place where both parties can talk.  Look at going to a public place like a coffee shop, park or even in the cab of a vehicle.  Find a comfortable environment where there are few distractions.

Use this time to gauge the compatibility of both parties and get a feel of energies being put out towards each other.  Assess the physical presences is also a good idea.  What I mean by that is, is the person you want to play with too drunk or altered to begin play and get the desired results?  Can you trust their judgment to do the right thing, the right way and/or know then to bring things to an end?

During this time, re-introduce yourselves.  Be up front and honest with each other.  Have the bottoms express their needs, desires or fantasies, first. Bottoms, be as CLEAR as possible. Talk about both your Soft and Hard limits.  A Soft limit is something where you feel somewhat uncomfortable with doing due to lack of experience or exposure, but might be willing to do but want to have the option to back out or stop the activity if you find uncomfortable.  This limit may be removed as a soft limit over time and more experience.


A Hard limit is one where the item or activity has been found to be uncomfortable, or has no interest in and does not want it to happen or considered in a scene.  These are definite NO type activities.  Remember too, these limits may change over time and exposure.

Let the bottoms talk first.  This gives the Top some time to study the candidate.  Since the Top will be mentally designing the scenario in their head for activities forth coming.  With the bottom talking, the Top can start list together.  Once the bottom is done talking –

  • 1st – Acknowledge them!  It takes a lot courage to lay their life in someone else’s hands, so thank them.
  • 2nd – Acknowledge their Hard limits.  Ask questions to redefine them if they’re not clear enough.
  • 3rd – Briefly touch on their Soft limits.  Same things go as above.  Ask them questions to explain them if they’re not clear enough.

Using the Soft limits and areas of stimulation not to mentioned as limits, the Top can start to build their scenarios for the event forthcoming.


NOTE:  The Top is not telling the bottom what your limits are.  The Top is going to be working those limits in to the play and working around them.


Example, if the Top likes watersports and the bottom has a Hard limit of body fluid up their ass, then spray the bottom down on the outside of their body.

If the Top’s and the bottom’s Hard limits doesn’t match their mutual needs, then move on and depart as friends.  And if the Soft limits are also too restricting and you both can’t think of what to do with them – Move on!


Okay, now, experience should help the Top get an idea about where he would like this scene to go – now is the time to ask questions of the bottom which can make the experience even more enjoyable.  Ask the bottom relevant health questions.  Example – if the Top is thinking of flogging – ask the bottom if he’s got back problems; if doing mummification, ask about the fear of constraint.  Only ask health questions which only pertain to the activities at hand.

Using Common Sense, if you’ve got a runny nose from hay fever and you’ve taken a pill to control it; don’t think the worst, and tell the other party know about the runny nose being from an allergy and not a cold so there won’t be ruling out of kissing for fear of catching the cold.  Or both parties might agree that at this time, no oral activities will happen until the next time they meet.

I know I’m being old fashion, but I still think it’s a good idea to let someone know where you’re going if you’re planning to place yourself in a situation where you are giving up control of yourself.  Call, text or email a friend or a trusted family member the name, place and phone number of the party you are going to be playing with.


If your hosting, let the friend know you’re going to have a “kinky” session and might want to them to call you in the morning or something like that.

After you’ve been playing for a while together and trust has been built, the need for notice before playing may be disregarded.  But it’s up to you, better safe than sorry.  Sometimes having emergency information posted somewhere close is a great idea for both parties playing, a specially if you’re new to that area of town.

“Referrals” is the checking of stories or experiences to safeguard one self.  If you are going to pack up your toys and your ass and travel somewhere and you haven’t done the face to face meeting or you get the feeling that this is “too good to be true” – ask the player for some referrals.  These are people who can vouch for the stories or experiences talked about during the meet and greet stages.  Ask for names, phone numbers or email address for you can ask questions from these people about those credentials.


Traveling across the country or the big blue ocean to live or play with someone after chatting for a certain amount of time, even up to a year, may still warrant references just as a precaution.  We’ve all heard of persons who are not like their profiles or what they say they are.  Most players of respectable reputations are honored by the chance to show off their reputations.  The test sometimes is, are they as good as they talk about?

I also understand that there are exceptions to every rule.  So, use your better judgment.  Communication with your future playmate prior to the event, and in the long run you might save yourself the heartaches, backaches and a whole lot of time and money.


So my children, remember the words of “Safe, Sane and Consensual” and throw in my other word, “Referrals”.


Peace, Friar Stogie of the Eternal Soaken Briquette

Friar Stogie aka Spud has been active in the Leather/BDSM/Fetish/Kink communities since 1990. At one time, collared and trained as a slave, boy, submissive, bottom and Master, Sir, Dominate, Top under Grand Master Steve Milo of NYC.  Spud is also an experience Dungeon Master and Community Educator since 1991.  He’s a self-proclaimed Switch and also draws on his 10 years of naval service and university degree to enhance his play.


Sister Diana’s guide to catch Syphilis (and sharing it with friends)

By Sister Diana Nirvana


What is the Syphilis?

It’s not an ancient Egyptian snake God, or a Harry Potter character… the Syphilis never appeared on Buffy, and you can’t find it, you know, like Jesus. In fact, without a microscope, you can’t find it at all: the Syphilis must be hunted down by its tracks!


So… what is The Syphilis?

The Syphilis is an STD born of the Treponema pallidum bacterium, often known as the “great imitator” because so many of the signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases. This can make it difficult to catch the Syphilis on purpose, but be warned, it could sneak up on you most unexpectedly!


I’ve found the Syphilis, now how do I catch it?

The Syphilis is caught through direct contact with infected sores often found on dicks, pussies, and assholes… yep, I mean your boss and co-workers! When inspecting potential sources, always examine the equipment for sores, rashes, lesions, and rust spots; people are not always honest about their success at catching the Syphilis and you don’t want to be mislead about your chances.


The Conspiracy of Lies:

People might tell you that you can catch the Syphilis through contact with toilet seats, doorknobs, shared clothing, eating utensils, or simply by sharing a body of water with an infected individual, but it’s all lies meant to misdirect your hunt. Believe none of it, and persevere with direct bodily contact… like, direct bodily contact. I don’t care how OCD you are, you have to take off your gloves and condom.


Did I catch it?

Maybe, maybe not. Check your equipment, but don’t trust your eyes, many people who’ve caught it fail to show symptoms for years. But don’t worry, continue neglecting yourself care and you’ll get the Signs of the Syphilis sooner or later, and then you’ll be able to share it with all your friends and relatives! If you still think your hunt was a failure, check closer: many who have caught the Syphilis overlook such signs as ulcers on the labia, cervix, anal area, or in the mouth because they’re painless and not easily visible. Or better yet, consult a doctor: only an STD test can say for sure whether you’ve caught the Syphilis or are still one of the many failed hunters searching their body inch-by-inch in the desperate hope that that hooker they kissed three years ago gave it to them.



The Syphilis first manifests as painless chancres about 2-3 weeks after infection, and then disappears in another 4-6 weeks. This is the hardest stage to hunt as the sores aren’t sore, and are often small and difficult to locate. Careful examination is necessary.



Developing 2-8 weeks after the formation of chancres, this stage of the Syphilis shows itself as a skin rash which varies in appearance and frequently inhabits the palms of the hands and soles of the feet–convincing a potential source that you have a foot fetish can be useful in confirming second stage syphilis. Mucous patches may also form on the mouth, vagina, or penis, and moist, warty patches (yum!) may develop on the genitalia or skin folds. The Syphilis (v2) may also cause fever, general ill feeling, loss of appetite (an added bonus for all you anorexics!), muscle aches, joint pain, enlarged lymph nodes, and hair loss (just think, wigs every day!).



No, I didn’t add this just as an excuse to use the word tertiary, the Syphilis really does have a third stage, and it’s the best of them all! Here you get infections in your brain, nervous system, heart, skin, and bones. Particularly delightful lesions in the central nervous system produce nerosyphilis which includes such exciting conditions as tabes (no, not the kind on your web browser), dorsalis, general paresis, and optical atrophy (your partners always look good–or at least indistinct). Lesions of the heart are less cool, but not to be overlooked as they can lead to aneurysms, valvular heart disease, and aortitis. Sadly, condemnation by modern society and so called advances in treatment often prevent the Syphilis from achieving this level of excellence.


Medical Testing:

Absolute confirmation of your catch can be made by a pair of blood tests to detect chemicals released by the bacteria. This process begins with a VDRL or RPR test, and if it proves positive, is followed by an FTA-ABS test. Only after this second test shows positive do you know for certain that you’ve caught the Syphilis.


Return Policy:

Syphilis is not for everyone, and sometimes we make mistakes–you know, like buying your grandma a DVD instead of a VHS cassette, letting your friends talk you into going sky-diving, or catching a potentially fatal infectious disease, and there’s always something you can do about it… except maybe sky-diving. For the Syphilis, the return policy is called Medical Treatment, and is even slower than the UPS. See, first you have to get antibiotics, usually penicillin or doxycycline with follow-up blood tests at 3-6 months, sometimes even longer, and you only know you’re cured after passing two tests! And here you thought returning that microwave ’cause it was too small was a hassle!


Oh, and I mustn’t forget the added bonus:

Sometimes initial treatment results in a Jerish-Herxheimer reaction, with symptoms like a fever, chills, headaches, nausea (not much fun unless you happen to be an emetophiliac…Google it…), general ill feelings, joint aches, and muscle aches. It usually only lasts 24 hours, but still, wouldn’t you rather just keep the Syphilis you spent so much time and energy acquiring?



The Syphilis is a reportable infection, which means once you let your doctor know they have to report it to public health authorities so that anyone you might have gifted it to can be notified (especially fun when you take this call on speaker phone) and told to get treatment.

For more tips on catching The Syphilis, check out the following sites: