Got the Munchies…?

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Got the Munchies…?

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 An oral report by Sister Anja Knees

 

Hello love! I’m Sister Anja Knees, and I’m here to talk about oral sex! Now, I’m not going to reveal any amazing secrets of bj’s and munch fests. See me later for extra credit. I am, however, going to talk about the do’s and shouldn’t’s when it comes to tasting your partner between the legs! Lucky for you it’s me giving advice, ‘cause I don’t have the name Anja Knees just because it’s cute!

A common myth in our society is that oral sex sans protection is totally safe. “But Sister, the health care world says it’s a minimal-risk activity!” In that you are correct, my friend, but it depends upon how you treat your mouth before and after as well as what sorts of things you should watch out for!

Many studies have been done on HIV transmission via oral sex, and results have varied, partly because people who give tongue baths to tender loins often engage in other fun activities, like screwing! There have been documented cases of HIV infection via blowjobs and pussy licking, but while some studies have reported as high as an 8% HIV infection rate due to oral sex, others have reported none! This is due to lots of different factors, which I’ll explain.

Let’s not forget the other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) out there, and that their presence can help HIV hop, skip and pump its way into people! Nearly all STI’s, an updated term for STD, can be transferred via oral sex (at a much higher rate than HIV) either to the sucker or the suckee, including but not limited to:

  • -Herpes (cold sores are Type 1, lesions on your crotch are generally Type 2)
  • -Chlamydia (discharge, mmm)
  • -Gonorrhea (leaky pee-pee)
  • -Hep. A (via fecal matter, so putting a “poop dick” in your mouth isn’t so smart!)
  • -Hep. B (transmitted through pre-cum, cum, vaginal fluids and sometimes saliva)
  • -HPV (warts, extremely common on genitals, rare in the mouth)
  • -Syphilis (multi-phase fun)

“Sister, how do HIV/STI infections happen if oral sex is so low-risk?” I’m glad you asked, sweetheart! The easiest way is through cuts, scrapes and/or lesions in the mouth and/or private bits. Skin is a barrier, so a breech in the skin is a breech in defenses. Skin-to-skin contact can cause transmission of some STI’s, such as Herpes and HPV, hence why bj’s are considered higher risk for STI infections. And, if you love a mouthful of pussy, reconsider sweepin’ the streets of Tuna Town when the red tide is in, because a woman’s menstrual blood can carry the HIV virus.

“What can I do to prevent the spread of these infections when my partner or I chow down on each other’s happy places?” An excellent question! The most effective way is, of course, abstinence. However, knowing that you’re a sexy horndog, you should know that there are many ways to gargle his wand or yodel in her canyon safely!:

 

Protection:

Condoms for cocks, dental dams for snatches. If you’re allergic to latex, there are polyurethane alternatives, or saran wrap! Make sure it’s non-microwaveable, though, ‘cause the microwaveable wrap is porous, i.e. why bother? If you don’t want to use a condom or dental dam, choosing a partner that you’re monogamous with or super trust can help you to stay safe.

 

Inspections:

If you’re the one on ya knees, pay attention to your mouth. Any cuts, lesions, inflamed gums or new piercings in there, you might wanna reconsider diving in unprotected.

Make sure it’s clean before putting it in your mouth. If anything looks amiss (lesions, wart bumps, “spring green pre-cum,”), a hand-job might be a good alternative.

 

Planning:

Try refraining from eating abrasive foods or brushing and flossing up to 2 hours before oral sex, because your gums can take awhile to heal. Gargling with mouthwash is also effective for germ and bacteria killing, and going pee after getting a tongue bath on your genitals is also smart, as urine is completely sterile and can clean out your urethra of little critters trying to nest.

 

Spit, Swallow or Facial?

Even though it’s tempting to taste his load, not allowing cum in your mouth can GREATLY reduce your risk of HIV/STI infection. If you do take his load, consider taking it in the very back of your throat so as to avoid your gums entirely, and rinse your mouth out as soon as you can without offending your sex buddy so that potential jizz denizens don’t have time to make you their new home. Also, wait a half hour after sex before brushing your teeth or eating, ‘cause while saliva is tough stuff against HIV, it does take awhile for it to get that foreign body fluid broken down.

The best motto to live by with oral sex is assuming no one is HIV/STI free, because they can be a carrier without knowing it. Lucky for you who love face-in-lap action, the risk level is lower than full-on intercourse. But the risk exists, so remember these lessons the next time you find yourself crotch to mouth with someone, and you’ll be very happy you did, I swear it. Now who wants a demo!!

 

Always willing to service,

Sister Anja Knees